Everyday we go through some sort of changes.  For the most part they seem small and insignificant, but you add them all up and they form who you have become and where you are going in life.

When the first day of Spring came to greet us on March 20th 2021.  I was beyond excited.  I knew the weather wasn’t going to change overnight but I felt that the beginning of Spring was going to start opening up more opportunities for all of us.  The days would be longer, the sun stronger, the air a bit warmer, the smells of grass growing and tree buds sprouting gave me a sense of new and wonderful hopes of positive changes.

This COVID has kicked our butts long enough and the announcements of longer quarantine because Ontario case numbers were increasing too quickly and our ICUs were filling up were depressing.  This has put a damper on some of our hopes.  We must honor these regulations in order to proceed to the next level of healing.

These quarantines seem like forever and no real changes have taken place, but changes have been happening to each of us.  Each of us has become more resilient, stronger, and able to manage our ups and downs and help our loved ones with their ups and downs.  We have become Warriors and Fearless Leaders!!!

Some of us have taken up hobbies that we didn’t have time for before when the world was a buzz and there didn’t seem to be enough time in a day to get things done.

This past month I decided that my health needed to take priority.  Before COVID I was always a gal on the go, juggling many things and working out was part of my life.  Once COVID hit I slumped into this vast life of lumping myself on the couch at night and not moving till bedtime.  That wasn’t a positive change for me as I found climbing my stairs heading to bed exhausting.

I decided to take control of that negative, non-moving part of my life.  Since the beginning of April I’ve been working out everyday for an hour.  At the beginning I had to force myself to do it and every muscle ached and it would have been very easy to give myself a pass and tell myself that I only really needed to do it three times a week.  My flabby belly, legs, butt and arms told me that I must continue.

So this was a big change for me.  Two month’s prior I stopped drinking a glass of wine every night.  It wasn’t a bottle but that glass was getting larger and the wine o’clock time was getting earlier.  Plus my sleeping pattern at night was a mess, sweating, not being able to get comfortable.  It just wasn’t worth it anymore.  I’m not saying I will totally give it up.  I do enjoy a lovely glass of wine with a delicious meal.  I can’t wait to join my girlfriends for an afternoon lunch on the patio with a crisp, buttery, cool glass of white wine and giggles.

I received my first dose of the vaccine.  I was so excited and relieved to be getting this vaccine, as it’s the next step to living a more normal life.  It didn’t hurt but by the evening of that day it hit me hard and I could barely keep my eyes open so off to bed I went to sleep a sweaty uncomfortable night.  The next day I felt like I had the flu and I dragged myself around only to head back to bed that afternoon and sleep on and off till the following day.  I felt much better and was so thankful to get my vaccine, as I couldn’t imagine how COVID would have hit me.  I’m very grateful to be living in Canada and able to get that shot in my arm.

These changes have been huge steps in my positive health journey.  No one can do it for me.  I needed to make these changes myself for myself.  I feel physically stronger, mentally happier and able to climb my stairs with ease.  It’s been a beautiful positive change for me and I’m proud to continue with this health journey.

There have been other changes with my husband’s health.  His decline continues, but he also continues to remain in this world.  He is still at the hospital awaiting a bed back in his long-term care home.  COVID outbreaks lockdowns and my request for him to stay longer at the hospital have caused his entry back there to be delayed.  But he is at the top of the list for reentry back to his long-term care home.  It’s just a matter of time….waiting….being patient and hoping for a change to happen.

There did come an unwelcome change. The hospital decided to put him on ALC at the beginning of April.  I received the phone call about that in the second week of April.  I asked what that was as I panicked thinking he had something else medically going on.  The social worker for the hospital explained to me that it means Alternative Level of Care so he would be still receiving care, but because they felt he didn’t require the intense services he was getting before and he is occupying a bed in the hospital they would be charging me for his daily stay at the hospital and adjusting his care.  Dang it, another change that affects my family’s little economy.  I have no say in the matter; it’s the hospital’s decision.  For Robert a change and for my kids and myself another negative change.

Some changes are exciting and embraced and other changes, well, we just have to accept and carry on.  I can grumble about the negative changes or feel grateful that Robert is still getting wonderful care in the hospital so I choose to be grateful for all the amazing changes that have taken shape in my life and understand that the universe and god have other plans and are pushing this agenda each day to keep the changes flowing and our lives richer for them.

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